Tuesday, March 27, 2007
i'm reali suprised to refind my blogspot blog here.. now is 2007 ald..
i thot this blog has been cancelled by blogger, but i found it through some stupid researching yesterday.. haha i foung my pillow club blog which was founded by doris, and her funny energised announcements and mourns.. haha.. i'm so happy to find out my buddies are actualli remembering our friendship as i do.. tt'a nice, rite?
the last entry i posted was in 2005, may.. and now, it's nealy 2007, april.. i clled this blog as a "love journey", but when i realli get into a relationship, i would not have time spend on journal writings.. and till now, too many things happened ald, and i hav no idea wad is going on in the real spirit of me.. anything changed? anything remained? i questioned a lot on a lot, but without answers, i trouble more of my mindcepts..
and now, is supposed to be the rough period of studing life for me.. a levels.. by he time i did the last journal, i was doing my olevels, and twoo year passed, have i gained anything though my stupid life experiences? enriched or faids? blanks, all blank come out of my mind..
i'm just trying to be good to everone around me, but instead of good compliments, they bully me, they make me down, they think i'm stupid and easy to be bullied.. i dun have the energy to say no, but i neva say yes, cos i am always look down at them.. rubbish..
something is gonna changed in this period of life, from march to june, from june to november.. i'm struggling with my weitght and studies, can they be balanced? i'm an adult now, u noe? then does it mean i can change myh life styles? no food no study, am i too childish? if continuously eating can make me feel happy and satisfied, when i grow fatter and fatter will i still be happy? all troubles need to be shooted down, and i'm realli struggling at all of these stuffs..
can i just tell myself go ahead and dun be afraid of anything?
but which way should i go?
i'm lost..
Listen @ 3:46 AM
Thursday, May 19, 2005
wooooh... nearly been killed bvy the 4c gals just now.. they all felt mad abt the basketball match.. 4K VS 4C, actualli it was so amazing.. the match and the players, very nice show.. =D
my class refused to go attend the matches. monitor said, we dun have enough ppl.. okok.. den i have to go 4C matches with my 4C friends..
But, the thing was that i always think ***** is the best player, and all the things he did was the right things.. and this made the C gals very angery at me and kept scolding me and even pinched me and kicked me.. i flet very sad abt that.. i reali treat them as very good friends but they see me as enemy when watchng the match.. YIqing told me that i would beta go other side cos the gals here will kill me soon..
XiHan kept craping "*****,*****" when saw me in canteen.. he said neva care abt playing bbal with 4K cos they K guys always play with them schollars and neva win for once.. Is it true? actualli i dun believe that.. 15:10 was the fact..
that stupid winnie's words was finalli come true.. no guy is not flirt.. yep, todae is the first time to get to noe another him.. I used to believe that he neva like to talk with the gals, but todae i saw him talking with many gals.. He was playing Base and attracted many gals in the foyer, many many gals.. i dun dare to look at his face, dun want to see how nice he played.. for me, it's ald enough to just stand behind him and look at his back.. i enjoyed that kinda special feeling.. that made me kept thinking abt a very lame sentence, there always is a good woman behind any successful man.. and i reali felt angry abt myself cos wheneva he turned back and saw me there, i become not able to control myself and then, my legs start to run..
I hate the uncontrolable spirit inside my body.. I can neva understand wad i am reali thinking abt and wad i reali want to do or need to do.. I hope i can understand myself more and noe wad he is always thinking.. all i want is the fact, i dun care abt the past, but i wanna noe why i can fall in love so deeply with a guy that i am not reali noe..
i hate the me alwasy talking with a bad mood with my buddies.. i always hope others feel sorry abt wadeva wrong thing they did on me, but neva wish to be the one say sorry first.. there alwasy got somebody to make me feel upset abt many meaningless things.. it's not a happy day for we 4 todae, especiali for ZR and me.. maybe not for todae only bah, there are some problems that we had to sit down and try our best to solve weeks ago but we neva want to care.. and now, i should say that the problem between us become stronger and huger.. i hope i can bear wadeva stupid childish things she asks me to do.. but she neva want to do something for me.. A gal from 4A kicked me in the toilet on wednesday, i felt very scared and dunno wad happenned, and very soon, i noe wad the game is as soon as i saw that gal "a****y".. i feel too tired to get into any game now.. I wonder why gals have to fight with each other just becuase of some guys? I dun wish to become one of them and also dun like to be one of the childish players in the meaningless game..
I hide, wheneva i saw his eyes on my eyes..
Listen @ 10:52 AM
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
sometimes, i feel to stupid and tired to guess wad the ppl around me or the ppl hu i care a lot are all thinking about.. i always feel huam beings are too complecated to understand.. and me, such a simple person oso became very strange during these days.. my birthdae came..
i hate my 17th birthdae.. though i've got lots of birthdae gifts from my buddies and friends and juniors.. but still, i cannot cheer up.. just because of him.. i thought abt do amething crazy on him in the morning of my birthdae.. but ifaild to do anything cos he was late for school that day.. my class guys gave up their chance to attend the basketball match with the K class and this made me lost another chance to do something special.. or even i should call it crazy.. So i went the C class to meet my friends there and "added oil" to their class team.. XiaHan gave me very strange smile when i looked at him.. Erhmzz.. have to say that i am used to recieve that kinda smiles right after somebody said the phrase " whole level noes" to my buddy.. wad should i say? XH said that person is too LIUMANG and not worth to love.. but i told him that i just love his LIUMANG QIZHI..
i noe i might be crazy.. tml will have our soccer match.. SH and Sally juz told us that they dun wan to be the reserve ones, they want to get into the match not sit there and watch.. then, we said "yes","ok", and den became the reserve ones.. wad i feel? nothing.. i should tell u that.. really, i feel neither angry nor sad.. it's my life.. which is being controlled by the god.. the god hu loves me sometimes and hate me more often..
something is wrong abt ZR and ME.. if u dun care, dun why i alwasy should be the one break the silence? I hope i am not a human..
Listen @ 4:56 PM
Thursday, May 05, 2005
I do have to confidence to get back my happiness from the sad memories.. not said, actuali i have to call tt special meaningless memories..My earthquake essay was published by FRIDAY WEEKLY, tt drove me deady happy.. hoho yahoo~!~ Although the gay editor changed my title "earthquake" to a childish stupid crapping title which the normal ppl will feel disgusting to death.. gosh.. i am totalli speechless abt the title tt editor gave my essay -- "earthquake came, i was thinking abt u".. goodness lol.. the only command i wanna pay was tt the editor was not a normal person..
HAHAHAYOHZZ~!~ juz killed my physics test and geog test by my own stupidity.. feel tt i would better go suicide befor getting my poor results back.. Chem fifi was askingme to go for remedial lessons start from next monday.. i felt unhappy abt tt although i noe tt remedial lessons r just the right things i am deadly needing by now.. I should "concentrate" on the subjects i am considering to choose for my o-level exams.. yepyep have to remember these words properly right... =D
I hope i love corn canddies oso.. =D Yep, oviously i love those things related to him.. finally hopeing the essay of mine will neva be known as MY ESSAY.. shameful.. hahax..
DINGDANG is a nice name.. agree?
===^0^===
Listen @ 4:15 PM
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Feel extremly relaxing right from the time i heard that news.. That powerful news send my minds back to the subject learnings with a horrible fast rate.. He likes a gal who is called M*r*l.. I really hope to control my mind not to believe this words which were told by Charlin yesterday.. I hoped neva to hear these word although i was sure that everyone was pilorising someone.. But the time i get the news, i felt myself totalli an idiot who dun even noe wad i am dreaming abt all these buble look stories for? I hope i can control myself to dismembering him as soon as i tell myself tt it's the right time for study.. I have so much problems on my subjects, not even for english and chem.. I begin to hate Physics, which i always feel i am strong at, and higher chinese, which i am supposed to do very well.
I am a tourus, which is supposed to be a very kind horroscope with very strong feelings toward love.. If something can have that news confirmed as a fact, which i have to face bravely and forget soon, i do will force myself to give this vision up.. the only simple vision of love in my life..
Tomorrow is out 2.4 testing day.. have to go home soon, eat more bananas and have a proper rest.. Jingjing, Jia YOU!! belive in urself that u can do it, not only do well for 2.4, but oso for forgeting all the memories u wanna drop..
Listen @ 11:30 AM
Friday, February 11, 2005
think the gays realli noe wad anna and i thinking liaoz...
That gk sat @ my seat on 608, i was totalli shocked and den went sit in his seat liaoz.. tt means i realli looking at him all the way liaozz wad!!~
see how stupid i am!!! hengheng!!!~
Den eh, Anna saw her pilo's blog yesterday n said they would got a guitar n bass performance today... she forced me to bring camera wad... actualli i oso wish to see lah.. but finalli, their performance was rejected wad!! so horrible! i asked TianCheng to help me take fotos if they guitarist and bassist got performance today cos i have to go foyer for the chinese cali thing... then, tiancheng suddenly said it was rejected yesterday... den i asked my camera back, but after dat he shouted maybe got he's not sure, then i give de camera back into his hands n asking him for help juz in case that performance would haf de chance to perform lah.. den eh, the gays around him said "iz conformed rejected wad..." , i felt quite said and thanxed tiancheng n asked my camera back... After alllll these stupid things, i turned around and saw anna's pilo juz sitting 2 meters away from the place we toking... i hope stil can use the letter "toking" to describe the volume of us chatting... Oh my god i felt sooo regret to shout with ppl in that kinda stupid ways!!! But the god neva let me go away from the problems... i found my pilo was sitting about 4 meters away... oh my godness!!! i cry ahzz!!!
Den eh.. i have to say this thing leh!!! Anna's pilo oso seemed trying to take a experiment today... he went out from canteen and upstairs to de second floor standing outside the stuff rooms looking downstairs... i neva see him and oso hav no interest to look @ him wad! but when Anna saw him, she asked me to look upward! i did that and saw tt guy's looking downwards... den i shouted"oh my god", two gals stadign in front of me both looking upstairs at the same time after tt... Now i juz wanna SAY-- i have noooooo interest on Anna's pilo!!! or else i'l be pinched again and again... oh my god!!~ hu can come can solve all the puzzles and safe me from the conflicts????
Listen @ 2:15 PM
Thursday, February 10, 2005
I love myself..
pls dun look at my entries!!~
thanx a lot...
dun try to guess hu i am..
cos i'm just the gal i suppose to be..
u dunno me, i dunno u...
thats de best things for all of us..
love urself and keep rawking...
hahaha...
hohoho...
hehehe...
Listen @ 9:02 PM
